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As Valentine’s Day nears, some people feel overwhelming sadness, either over the loss of a partner, a dissolved relationship or just not having anyone to love. What was designed as a holiday to celebrate love can sometimes feel like just another reminder of loneliness or grief.
The effects of grief have even been called the “broken heart syndrome”. The Mayo Clinic reports that grief can produce symptoms such as chest pain, shortness of breath and weakness. Caretakers, healthcare providers and the bereaved themselves are cautioned to be aware of these symptoms in the days after the passing of a loved one. Whether we feel physical stress or not, we can echo the Bee-Gees question, “How can you mend a broken heart?”
I remember a time in my life, many years ago, when I suffered from grief – and had many bouts with shortness of breath, chest pain and tears. My mom died when I was in my twenties. I was just beginning my life’s work and was having a tough time financially. My dad died many years before and most of my family lived quite a distance away. I was self-employed, and didn’t have a lot of daily relationships. Nights were particularly difficult, since that is when the loneliness was most acute.
One night, during a particularly lonely night, having just ended a long bout of crying, I suffered acute chest pains. I just couldn’t catch my breath. I decided I would pray – that had been my form of heathcare for many years. At that moment, I was startled by the thought, “You can’t suffer from a broken heart.” “Why not?”, I thought. It sure seemed as if I was suffering a lot. Then I realized that God’s unconditional, unwavering love was with me right then and there. With the greatest resolve I could put together, I turned away from my grief and turned toward God. As I prayed, I could feel His-Her love, and it filled my heart with comfort. I felt better, and was soon well.
When the Psalmist sang a song of gratitude to God, he proclaimed, “I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.” A perfect heart does not just mean a beating muscle, but also living the qualities of Love – forgiveness, affection, humility, courtesy and gratitude. I realized that I needed to express these qualities more, and within a few years, my life changed in many ways. I needed to make room for others in my life by enlarging the love I gave.
That is one of the ways “to mend a broken heart”. We often have to deal with a self-centeredness that leaves no room for others in our hearts. Love is such an important component of our spirituality. It not only mends our emotions, but it is a health-giving quality. Dr. Larry Dossey once wrote, “If scientists suddenly discovered a drug that was as powerful as love in creating health, it would be heralded as a medical breakthough and marketed overnight – especially if it had as few side effects and was as inexpensive as love” (Healing Words p. 109).
This Valentine’s Day, I send you a big, beautiful bouquet of love. Thank you for reading this blog. But more importantly, God sends you His love, it is right with you now, it leads you, comforts you, encourages you and mends any broken heart. You may have heard it before – but it is so true – God loves you. You are His valentine. Happy Valentine’s Day!
